


My Light of Creation

by pretentious_git



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Barry's Shook by Lup, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, IPRE, IPRE Crew - Freeform, TAZ - Freeform, how it happened, short sweet scenes, the adventure zone - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 00:24:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12947301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretentious_git/pseuds/pretentious_git
Summary: How does one fall in love? In snippets and scenes, or in dramatic monologues full of emotion?Barry meets Lup and somehow down the road, they make it. But do they make it out together?Some interpretations of mine on moments between Barry and Lup as their relationship slowly developed!





	My Light of Creation

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I'm back! But not with Haikyuu stuff, sorry!
> 
> Check out my first fic for the The Adventure Zone fandom! It's some really raw stuff that I honestly just wrote my heart out for since TAZ gives me a lot of feels in general and I'd live my life for Lup and Barry. 
> 
> Enjoy! School's kicking my butt so I'll do my best to keep writing when I can!

The first time Barry saw Lup, hand in hand with her twin brother at the entrance of the Institute of Planetary Research and Exploration, a question formed in his head.

            _What the hell is she wearing?_

Clad in clashing colours that somehow, _somehow_ , matched with her brother’s, the elf stood proudly in her newly acquired red robe with the Institute’s patch, grinning like she already knew everyone there. Barry was surprised, if not a little intimidated, at the waves of confidence radiating from the pair.

            He quickly continued to walk down the hallway, turning his mind away from the new employs. They weren’t his business and he was a year or two above them in superiority anyway. He doubted he’d ever cross paths with what looked like magic wielders within his small circle of research, calculations, and books.

* * *

 

            The second time Barry saw Lup, he was shocked to the core to see her striding purposefully into the science lab, announcing her new position as a ‘newbie, but totally ready to kick their butts at t science nonsense if they’d give her a couple of days.’

            Barry was stunned; Lup didn’t _look_ like a science nut. In fact, she didn’t even look like any kind of geek whatsoever. So to watch her throw herself into the empty chair in front of his own, demanding a tour of the place _now_ , the man could only blink.

            “You’re in this department?”

            “Got that right, Barry. Nicked your name off my supervisor, Barold Bluejeans, also known as Barry.”

            The man’s brows furrowed and his mouth gaped open for a moment. “It’s on my nametag,” he ended up saying lamely, pointing at the little patch on his jacket.

            Lup simply winked. “And I knew it before I had to read it. Ain’t that a cool trick?”

            Barry stared. He stared hard. His other colleagues had already cleared the area, having been fully aware of the tumultuous wreckage that the twins Lup and Taako were capable of unleashing. Part of him internally cursed them for being cowards and leaving him alone with her.

            “Well?” Lup was lounging on the chair without a care in the world, tugging at the long braid that wrapped around her shoulder absently. “I don’t have all day. Schedule’s pretty tight actually. Number two on the checklist is a big ol’ nap and Barry dear, you are _not_ taking that away from me.”

            And on a tour they went.

* * *

 

            Barry saw Lup every day after that. Her intellect astounded him, although her antics and personality surprised him even more. Every day held a new discovery and Barry began counting the things he knew about her.

            Lup loved fire – that was apparent from the moment she and Taako came to the Institute. Coming onto stage for their introductions, Lup blasted a fireball that shook the very core of the building, stepping out of it with a mad grin and her arms outstretched, yelling her name for all the institute to hear. Taako came soon after, magic smoke and missiles that exploded into fireworks filling the air extravagantly.

            Lup was patient, but chose not to be if given the chance. All meals were something to be had _immediately_ , experiment finished or not. Naps were never to be shortened and free time was always on time. If it didn’t happen immediately, she grew bored, her attention quickly wandering to other, more exciting things of the moment.

            Lup placed Taako above everything. The two were inseparable, only in different places when their job demanded them too. Taako delved deep into the world of all magics while Lup furiously grew in her own. Evocation mixed with science, Barry was dumbfounded to watch as her statement became true. Within a few days, she was next to him, competent enough to work on experiments he had been working on for years.

            Barry also knew that Lup saw him as a friend. It startled him at first, the way she so easily loped her arm around his shoulder, dragging him to the cafeteria while chattering about the differences in interplanar magnetic poles. She’d mess with him him across meeting rooms, mouthing some sort of nerdy joke that only he would be able to understand, only to tease him for being a big nerd then next hour, rolling her eyes and asking ‘Who actually cares that magic fields have more than seven access points when breached with a certain type of school?’

            He found himself slowly falling into the way she spoke, moved, and simply _lived_. Lup lived without a care – more so than her brother did. While Taako seemed aloof yet always kept the future in sight, Lup dove into situations as if she only had that day to do it. Her experiments were rambunctious, her actions never held back. Everything she did, she did with her all and Barry couldn’t help but admire the way she seemed to be the personified version of life, vibrant and enthusiastic. Lup reminded him of the light of creation, that one phenomenon their institute was enraptured with.

            What was incredible was that he didn’t have to study Lup like he had to study the light just to know what got her going.

            She was a phenomenon in her own way, a crackling of energy that no container could hold. She spoke like she knew the sun was listening and she moved like she knew the earth would bend to her will. To Barry, she just _was_.

            He wondered if she knew.

* * *

 

            When they left their world to go on an adventure, Barry was ridiculously proud of their achievements. A few years had passed and he felt older, but the giddiness that thrummed through his veins as he stood before the Starblaster alongside the rest of his crew was akin to that of a child’s.

            Lup was sitting by Taako, a chill expression on her face. However, Barry had known her for long enough to pick out the traces of excitement hidden there underneath. She was practically vibrating to hop on the ship and go…Barry couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment.

            As Davenport spoke, Barry’s mind wandered to the mission. An expedition towards the other planes of existence…traveling and exploring… It was exhilarating.

            _Barry._

A familiar voice slipped into his head, causing him to nearly sit upright and cause a scene. He did freeze, however, trying not to whip his head to stare at Lup.

            _…L-Lup?_

_Barry, what the hell? Stop spacing out, ya nerd._

Barry blinked, brows knitting together. Her voice was familiar and as clear as day. The easy way of teasing him sounded so natural and it was as if she were right next to him, chiding him for not paying attention. However…

            _Lup. You don’t_ have _the message cantrip._

Almost immediately, the presence disappeared from his mind and he chanced a look over. Taako was grinning, eyes towards the crowd. To his side, Lup was slumped farther in her seat, eyes full of mirth and mouth in a wide grin, held behind her hand. They were both steadily not looking at Barry and while he deadpanned at them for a complete two seconds…he dissolved in a small chuckle.

            _Lulu’s asking me to teach it to her for moments like these._

 _Tell her there’s nothing she can do that could surprise me anymore_ , Barry thought back. It was a lie. Everything Lup did was a surprise, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t play along.

            There was a pause, almost as if Taako was relaying the message back to his sister, and suddenly the voice was back.

            _Lulu says bullshit and that if you really believed what you said, you would walk right into your room on the ship._

This time, Barry straightened up, turning completely towards the twins. Magnus blinked down at him and Lucretia pressed her lips together, for Lup and Taako were cackling in their seats.

            “What did you do?” He hissed as softly as he could, however he could still hear the falter in Davenport’s voice as he presented.

            Lup leaned over, winking, and Barry tried to tamp down the feelings of amusement in his stomach. “You sure you wanna know, Barold? Thought I didn’t surprise you anymore.”

            Their conversation was immediately cut off by Magnus grabbing Barry by the shoulder, pushing him back in his seat. A big “shhhhhhhhhhhhh,” accompanied the action, far louder than Barry had even spoken, and the institute simply heard Davenport sigh into the mic.

* * *

 

            Barry had moments where he thought he was going delusional.

            It was years down their journey, decades as they jumped from world to world.

            Odd thoughts popped up in his head from time to time and he tried to make sense of them, he really did, however…

            When he looked at his partner in crime, he wondered if they should’ve named their ship after Lup instead, seeing as she seemed to set the universe ablaze better than any star could.

            He thought that maybe they each had their own light of creation. She was his.

            She created a spark inside of him, lit in such a way that he felt energized just by being in the room with her. Lup would talk and Barry felt uplifted, encouraged to be better, greater, anything to catch up to the sparkling enigma that was Lup.

            Taako noticed, Merle noticed, even Magnus noticed, despite being a little dense. The way his eyes sought her out in their group or the way he stammered just a little bit more whenever she smiled at him.

            The day she caught her glasses from falling to the rocks below on the beach, he almost dropped them a second time just out of nerves.

            She was the electrical current that Barry wanted to keep shocking himself with, the fire that he wanted to dive into over and over. She didn’t know when enough was enough but that’s what made her invigorating, the way she lived life _so hard_ that it made Barry dizzy.

            Lup intoxicated him, captivated him, wrapped him around her finger without even trying.

            He was terrified of the feeling, however. Terrified of what would happen on their journey. They had time, that was for sure, but he wasn’t afraid of that.

* * *

 

            “I’d name a whole world after you,” Barry blurted out one day when he and Lup were sitting in the field. They were supposed to be peering into the night sky, trying to see if there was a particular area of the atmosphere where the Hunger would appear. It was warm and Lup’s hair was wrapped in its usual braid – messy and slung over her shoulders. The telescope was between her legs. She ears flicked up in surprise at his words and she turned to him, curiosity in her eyes as Barry continued to stammer.

            “I-I mean…Like, shouldn’t we? Leave a mark or something? We’ve been visiting so many of them and it’s a shame that they’re gone. Sure they’ve got names already but-but I figured-“

            “Hey Barold?” Her voice was soft, her expression amused, and Barry shut up immediately.

            “I- yeah. Yes?”

            Lup turned to him, moving the telescope safely to the side and she crossed her legs, staring at Barry with those eyes made of stardust. They danced and twinkled in her iris, far more beautiful than any planar system Barry could’ve laid his eyes on.

            “Every world I crush is already named after me, Barry,” she said, a joke in her tone. The man couldn’t help but chuckle, shoulders drooping in relief at the removal of tension. “You need to find a world you could call your own too.”

            “I mean, maybe if we land on one with a huge science conserva-“

            “I’m talkin’ about me, Barry,” Lup said, an easy grin on her face, and Barry’s mind went on immediate shut down.

            He could only be grateful that his stuttered question was understood.

            Lup looked down, fingers reaching out to play with the grass and for a moment, Barry thought she was shy. It was such an unfathomable concept that he was more relieved than nervous when she looked up at him again, resolve shining in her eyes.

            “I said I crushed every world I’ve been to, Barry. Even yours. Are you gonna tell me I’m wrong?”

            Barry couldn’t do much but shake his head.

            “There you go. And that’s that. Guess you should know that I like you a dumb bunch too, you nerd.”

            His throat was dry, almost as if the sun itself had jumped down his throat, sucking him of all possible actions, word, and thought.

            “Lup?”

            “Yup, Barold?”

            “You’re my world”

            “I better stay that way. No Hunger’s gonna bite my ass anytime soon.”

* * *

 

            The days went on and their relationship blossomed. What was once teasing, playful jabs turned into…teasing playful jabs but with an undertone of love.

            The pining gazes Barry once had were now returned, but a hug or a kiss was never too far away. Being friends with Lup felt like he was chained to a shooting star, but _dating_ Lup was like hugging it for dear life as it shot through the cosmoscope.

            It was like trying to hold all the emotions of every being in the world in your own heart and hands, a storm of _everything_ that Barry could only try so hard to keep up with. Lup was here one moment, gone the next, her mind and heart flying on the wind to anything that caught her fancy. Taako enabled her, the two soaring through life, pushing each other to the limits and growing, growing, growing.

            Though Barry never felt left behind.

            She was there for him, every moment of every day, even if she was being taken up by something else. Her eyes shone whenever he walked into the room and her words grew kinder and more loving as the days went by. Barry’s heart swelled; he was in love with a goddess.

* * *

 

            “This isn’t going to work anymore,” Lup’s voice was wrought with distress. “What if one cycle, we just _fuck up_?”

            Barry sat on the edge of his bed, hands clenched in his own lap. His head was lowered but then again, so was Lup’s, as the two of them sat side by side in worry.

            Lucretia had died the last cycle and as usual, the group grew somber. It was painful when even just one of them was gone, no matter for how long. Their hearts had hardened but underneath they were sore.

            “Is there any way…” Barry started, but he bit his lip. There was a way – an option that he and Lup had discovered a few cycles ago, but had decided to forget. However, now… Was it the only option they had?

            A hand sought his and elf fingers laced with human ones as Lup squeezed his hand tightly. A head fell against Barry’s shoulder and he turned, breathing in her familiar scent.

            “It’s scary, Barry,” she murmured, her voice quieter than he’d ever heard it. She had a reason to be, this option wasn’t…a ‘good’ one to any degree. “But I feel like that’s the only way to ensure our safety.”

            “Are we the only ones who can do it?” He asked. Names of all the other members of the crew ran through his mind as he tried to figure out who else was capable. Each other option was shut down, not because of incompetence, but because of…the fact that Barry just didn’t want anyone else to go through it.

            “Taako’s an immediate no, honey,” Lup said with a sigh. “Chicken’s too chicken,” she said, although the tone in her voice said otherwise. It wasn’t that Taako would be scared. Barry just knew that Lup would do anything in her power to keep Taako safe from…this.

            Barry rubbed his face, sighing. “Can we…put this to the side? Think about this some other time?”

            “Yeah, but like, are we gonna do it?” Lup was never patient and that applied to questions and answers.

            The man nodded. “Yeah. I think…for the sake of the crew, I’d do it.”

            Lup nodded, hiding her face into his shoulder. He turned, wrapping her arms around her. “I’ll do it if you do it.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft.

            “I thought that was my line,” he tried to joke, remembering all of the inane adventures she had dragged him onto, ones that he had gone along on without too much fight. He could feel the smile form on her face.

            “Guess you’re rubbing off on me, nerd.”

* * *

 

            It hurt.

            It hurt more than anything could describe.

            Evening as he struggled to keep his happy memories in his mind, the agony still shot up his body like a bolt of vicious lightning in a storm.

            When his body hit the ground, it couldn’t compare to the sensation of his soul being ripped forcibly from his body, clawing and dragging its way out, shrieking into the air and crackling with energy.

            He couldn’t see.

            He couldn’t see the stars as he fell down.

            Lup was in front of him but he lost sight of her the moment she tipped back as well.

            He wished he could see her face, to share her pain with her so that she would know she wasn’t alone. He wished he could see Taako, to promise him that everything was going to be alright. He wished he could see _god_ , damnit, because the pain was too much and he wanted to beg why it had to be like this when all they wanted to do was save their friends.

            He couldn’t breathe.

* * *

 

            “When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy.”

            Barry had spent countless nights searching, looking, crying. Trying to find any trace of Lup, any little mark that she still even existed.

            When Taako uttered that word, Barry swore he lost it.

            _Who?_

            Who was Lup? His love. His heart, his life.

            Who was Lup? The one who hung the stars, who shot the sun into the sky, who set the moon in place.

            Who was Lup? The reason he was who he was now. The only reason he could dance without restrictions, run without care, laugh for no reason.

            Lup was everything and to see no familiarity come across Taako’s face made it feel like the hole in Barry’s heart continued to grow larger and larger.

            As if the Hunger had finally consumed his own light of creation.

            “Barry,” Taako said, brows furrowed, a stupefied expression on his face. “Barry, what the hell? Who the hell are you talking about?”

            He didn’t realize but he had been babbling. Babbling her name, or what he could remember of it. Trying to explain who she was, or anything that he could recall.

            “Barry? Who-“

            That was all he heard as static began to overcome his mind, crashing into him far harder than the ground did when he turned.

            _Who?_

_Who was this?_

_Who was that?_

_Who was she?_

_Who?_

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
